“It’s not a usual thing to do, you know, to invite total strangers into your home,” the woman says as she steps across the threshold.
Four o’clock in the afternoon, already quite dark outside, but we’ve lit a couple of marschaller, the large outdoor candles that Swedes put out to welcome guests, on the steps up to the old shoe shop.
“Well,” I say, “I guess it helps that anyone who’s been around these parts for long has probably been in here and bought shoes!”
This is something that
pointed out to me, a while back: it asks more of people to invite them into your private domestic space, when compared with a space which is, in some way, part of the common experience of the local community. I suppose that’s why this house felt right, when we first set eyes on it, four years ago this autumn – because, for all that we talk about this as “a school that starts from the conversations we bring together around our kitchen table”, it’s the liminal zone of the former shoe shop which eases the making of these open invitations.Reading
’s recent Postcard from Brixton, I was taken back to my Spacemakers days, when we were running events in the empty shops in the arcades there, then starting up the community-owned and run street market festival they call the West Norwood Feast. One thing I learned in those years is that there’s a magical threshold, whenever you make an open invitation to a gathering: at first, as people start to show up, you see them looking around a little awkwardly, wondering if they made a mistake, and you wonder the same thing too; maybe this is going to be a flop, an embarrassment, a proof of our foolishness. Then, all at once, while you’re looking the other way, something shifts. It’s not a gradual fade, it’s a flip from one state to another, because suddenly everyone has forgotten to wonder whether they should have done something else with their Saturday night or their Sunday afternoon, and the gathering comes alive.These things don’t map straightforwardly across scales from a south London high street to a shoe shop in small-town Sweden, but I felt an echo of that experience on Saturday. By Anna’s count, there were over fifty visitors who crossed the threshold in the course of the afternoon, easily the busiest gathering we’ve held, and a good mix of friends, acquaintances and strangers. Partly, it was an easy invitation to say yes to – “Advent fika with an English accent”, mince pies and a bit of carol singing – and partly it’s a reflection of a year in which we’ve had the energy to look outwards and get engaged in the existing life of this community, joining the committee that runs the folkpark on the edge of town, showing up most Sundays at the church across the road. We just know a lot more people around here than we did a year ago. That feels good.
I’m standing at the shop counter, restocking the plate of tea bread, when a couple of guests who are heading off come over to ask how they should pay.
“No need,” I say, “we’re giving it all away.”
“Well,” the man says with a smile, “that really is the Christmas spirit!”
Afterwards, Anna and I talk about an idea for next year, a simple monthly event during the term-time months: a soup dinner where we’d sometimes have a guest to speak, or sing, or a film screening afterwards.
“Of course,” she says, “we’d have to charge something. Or what do you think?”
There’s a strong pull in me to follow the inspiration of the way that
and friends are working at Sand River Community Farm, leaning all the way out into the logic of gift. But as Anna points out, if we don’t make it possible for people to contribute, then they will find it hard to keep coming, and we don’t have an equivalent just now to the “farm frolics” at Sand River, the opportunities to make a contribution in kind.As we’re talking, I remember a little story from the David Schwartz essay in The Challenges of Ivan Illich, an essay which has been on my mind this autumn. Here’s the story, which Schwartz quotes from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Love Your Neighbor: You and Your Fellow Man in Light of the Torah:
Rabbi Yitzchok of Vorki once praised the hospitality of a certain innkeeper who always treated his guests with much respect. “But he takes money from those who stay at his inn,” someone argued. “Of course he takes money,” replied Rav Yitzchok, “but he does so to enable himself to continue his commendable conduct. The warmth of his welcome and the thoughtful care he gives are proof that he feels love for his guests. If he wouldn’t take money, he would not be able to continue his hospitality.”
I reckon there’s a clue in that story, a lens through which it might be possible to discern two quite different ways of being, when it comes to money; two different tunes we can be dancing to. One of these is well described in the logic of the economists, the other falls out of view when we take their claims at face value. For there’s a great difference between “we do this in order to make money” and “we take money in order to be able to do this”. Maybe you can think of pockets of hospitality in your own experience, even today, which are running to that second, hidden logic.
A journalist once got baffled at my inability to summarise the “goal” of our work at a school called HOME. I wanted to help him, but it’s just not how I think about any of this. If I knew what we were “trying to achieve” – if I had the kind of certainty such language seems to imply – then I fear this would blind me to the unexpected lessons that present themselves along the way, the unforeseen lines of enquiry that arrive like a stranger across the threshold. I’ve no desire to make strong claims about what is achieved by serving mince pies to neighbours and strangers, but I will say that, from these humble, stumbling experiments in convivial economics, I am learning things that I would not have caught sight of, had I tried to do all my thinking through books and screens and the kind of conversations that come with footnotes.1
I’m about to head offline for a couple of weeks over Christmas and New Year. When I come back, I plan on switching gears. After two years of taking At Work in the Ruins out into the world, I can feel myself shedding that book the way a snake sheds its skin. So I’ve cleared my calendar as far as possible for the early months of 2025, to make room for what wants to come next.
Along with that, I want to go slower with this Substack and write some of the longer essays there hasn’t been much time for this year. There will still be announcements and invitations, now and then, but the main form that Writing Home will take in the first half of 2025 is a monthly essay. (Paid subscribers already got a taste of a couple of the essays I have in mind to write in last week’s video.)
Thanks to all of you who have supported my work, here and elsewhere, in the course of 2024. I take great encouragement from being part of the weave of conversation that goes on around this corner of the internet. If you lived closer, I’d invite you all round for mince pies!
DH
As fond as I am of footnotes, conversations and books, and recognising that screens have their uses, too.
"Convivial economics" is a beautiful and oh-so-helpful term as we ponder how it is that we will work in our own local ruins. Thank you so much! We will await what emerges for you in 2025, with deep gratitude for your generous offerings to us.
Thank you, Dougald, for this wonderful holiday musing. We have also stumbled along the path of understanding the economy of giving (and receiving), especially when hosting “open” community events, invitations by word of mouth among friends and the awkwardness of “economic realities” present when the hospitality of the heart is what feels friendly and community-bonding, as in “communion”…what we came to realize through experience is that there is a HUGE difference between an admission fee/a charge (think “demand”) and a donation, suggested or otherwise (think “gift”)…the key element is the receptacle…(think “tip jar”) which allows comers and goers the opportunity to open their hearts and their pocketbooks, sometimes anonymously, and comes from inspiration or the sheer joy borne of having a heart-warming/-opening experience that in truth, is often priceless and resonates long after the doors are closed and the people have shuffled off to their mundane worlds…it’s not only worth experimenting with, this seeking of right-gifting, but fun as well…(think Magic Hat)🎩 🎄Happy holidays to all❤️🌟💚